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The Queen and Me

May 10th 2007 23:29
In what was billed as the hottest dining ticket of the Bush Preisdency thus far, The Queen has visited Washington and come into direct contact with the infamous President's capacity for disaster.
Her Majesty was yet to visit the White House during the presidency of George W. Bush Jnr. until her recent sojourn into the never-never otherwise known as Washington. She did meet him in 1991 during a dinner party thrown at the White House by his late lamented... is he dead yet? ...father.
At the time George W. shyly confessed to her Majesty that he was the family black sheep, before barrelling out with: "who's yours?" Matron Mama (Barbara) Bush bustled up in time to save the Queen from her son - or vice-a-versa, barking out a hasty "don't answer that!" before hitting her son over the head with a rolled up newspaper no doubt.


But what business you may well ask has Presidential politics got being on a website dedicated to show-biz? Well despite the absence of the three rings and an emcee in a top hat and hunting pink you will be hard pressed to find a bigger circus than the White House when the Queen comes to town!
George W. was determined not to make a mistake this time! At past formal dinners the accident prone US President has been caught out with food in his mouth and egg on his face - not necessarily together.
For Her Majesty he was determined to role out the red carpet and show the folks back home in Texas that he knew which fork went where.
The result was the employment of a White House etiquette expert and a great deal of activity by the White House social councillors - think Cruise Director on the Love Boat just without the perks.
All seemed to be going well, until George W. decided to turn on the charm. In his welcome speech to the Queen - her trip was made in honour of the four hundredth anniversary of the indepence of the US colonies - he made reference to her last tour of the country in 1776...

"Now that don't seem right!"

Now Her Majesty is 81 and going strong, and no doubt enjoys being reminded of her vintage just as much as any other woman alive! She looked at George W. with a cool surprise that fast became something a few degrees colder when Georgie boy compounded his offence with a sly wink.
No doubt in the pause that followed you could hear the tumbleweeds blowing all the way from Texas.
To his credit George quickly warmed the situation with: "she gave me a look that only a mother could give a child" before he swiftly surrendered the stage to Her Majesty, who naturally delivered a polished speech, dignity intact, while no doubt Laura Bush reminded her husband that "she is the cats mother".

Whether George's goons slipped Prince Phillip a note along with his nightly offering of cognac or pinned a small suggestion to the collar of one of the Queen's Corgis, the situation was saved by the Queen again at a formal dinner that evening when she opened her toast to the President by wondering if she should reminisc about her American tour of 1776.
The masses were dutifully entertained, though the tumbleweeds blew once again when George's repsonse began with "Your Majesty, I can't top that one."
Whether he was referring to her joke or his wink is yet to be confirmed. Either way the entire process has no doubt left Her Majesty wondering just whatever happened to that nice Mr Clinton...
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