The Lohan Files - PLEASE LET THEM BE CLOSED!!!!!!!!
August 26th 2007 06:14
Well it seems Lindsay Lohan pleaded guilty to drunk driving. Think back a month or so and you'll remember she got drunk/high and chased her (ex?) personal assistant and then her mother in a car all the way from Malibu to Hollywood.
Well she's being sent to jail for one day and to rehab after that to cure a drug and alcohol addiction problem. The following series of statements were released by Lindsay, then her father Michael and THEN her mother Dina.
In other words the daughter spoke, then her neglectful parents. Lindsay may be "of age" but no one will ever convince us that partying and getting drunkies with Mommie in nightclubs at age 17 is not going to push you in the wrong direction!
LINDSAY'S STATEMENT
It is clear to me that my life has become completely unmanageable because I am addicted to alcohol and drugs. Recently, I relapsed and did things for which I am ashamed. I broke the law, and today I took responsibility by pleading guilty to the charges in my case. No matter what I said when I was under the influence on the day I was arrested, I am not blaming anyone else for my conduct other than myself. I thank God I did not injure others. I easily could have. I very much want to be healthy and gain control of my life and career and have asked for medical help in doing so. I am taking these steps to improve my life. Luckily, I am not alone in my daily struggle and I know that people like me have succeeded. Maybe with time it will become easier. I hope so.
TRANSLATION: "O! Woe is me! I screwed up mega-bad and probably wrecked my future movie career! Maybe if you all pity me a lot I can pretend like none of this ever happened (AGAIN!) and I can sign up with Disney? Right?!"
MICHAEL'S STATEMENT
I am overjoyed that the system sees that Lindsay is getting the help she needed by putting her best foot forward and by going to rehab. I think between her attorney, Blair Berk, and her therapists at Cirque Lodge, shes around people that care about her best welfare and Lindsay as a human being. I just hope I can be part of the right path she is on.
TRANSLATION: "Hi! I'm Michael Lohan and Lindsay Lohan, MTV Award winning Mean Girls and Freaky Friday actress is my daughter. Just reminding you all that I'm here and that she actually IS my daughter in the hope that maybe a few magazines may want some interviews and I can make a little bit more cash off of her fame! Thank you for your time, and Praise Jesus!"
DINA'S STATEMENT
My children and I are in a wonderful place in our lives, and people just want to make things up and see us fail.
TRANSLATION: "I am not responsible for my daughters behaviour. Rather her entire successful Hollywood career was my doing along with every good decision she ever made. However, I am a high-powered, single, busy working mother with three children. I live in New York and Lindsay lives in L.A. I can't be there watching her every move. That and so far as I know she didn't become an "addict" until she was of the age of 21 and I most certainly did not have anything to do with that move in her life. I attribute this entirely to evil influences in her life and the pressure of the media. More importantly the movie Georgia Rule was a flop because of that bitch Jane Fonda! I did tell the casting directors that but they wouldn't listen simply because I am a single woman. In my opinion all white-anglo-males are bastards and I am certain that they have conspired to keep me from the superstardom that I was born to attain! P.S. Don't I just totally remind you of Oprah? Only white! P.P.S. I'm single by the way, so if there are any Hollywood producers out there... I'm a looker and I still have all my own teeth! P.P.P.S. Don't you just feel so sorry for me about Lindsay?! How could the world conspire against me like that?!?! P.P.P.P.S. MEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Well she's being sent to jail for one day and to rehab after that to cure a drug and alcohol addiction problem. The following series of statements were released by Lindsay, then her father Michael and THEN her mother Dina.
In other words the daughter spoke, then her neglectful parents. Lindsay may be "of age" but no one will ever convince us that partying and getting drunkies with Mommie in nightclubs at age 17 is not going to push you in the wrong direction!
Poor thing!!!
LINDSAY'S STATEMENT
It is clear to me that my life has become completely unmanageable because I am addicted to alcohol and drugs. Recently, I relapsed and did things for which I am ashamed. I broke the law, and today I took responsibility by pleading guilty to the charges in my case. No matter what I said when I was under the influence on the day I was arrested, I am not blaming anyone else for my conduct other than myself. I thank God I did not injure others. I easily could have. I very much want to be healthy and gain control of my life and career and have asked for medical help in doing so. I am taking these steps to improve my life. Luckily, I am not alone in my daily struggle and I know that people like me have succeeded. Maybe with time it will become easier. I hope so.
Evangelist, ex-druggy, media-whore - and that's a good day!
MICHAEL'S STATEMENT
I am overjoyed that the system sees that Lindsay is getting the help she needed by putting her best foot forward and by going to rehab. I think between her attorney, Blair Berk, and her therapists at Cirque Lodge, shes around people that care about her best welfare and Lindsay as a human being. I just hope I can be part of the right path she is on.
TRANSLATION: "Hi! I'm Michael Lohan and Lindsay Lohan, MTV Award winning Mean Girls and Freaky Friday actress is my daughter. Just reminding you all that I'm here and that she actually IS my daughter in the hope that maybe a few magazines may want some interviews and I can make a little bit more cash off of her fame! Thank you for your time, and Praise Jesus!"
"The insufferable Dina Lohan!"
DINA'S STATEMENT
My children and I are in a wonderful place in our lives, and people just want to make things up and see us fail.
TRANSLATION: "I am not responsible for my daughters behaviour. Rather her entire successful Hollywood career was my doing along with every good decision she ever made. However, I am a high-powered, single, busy working mother with three children. I live in New York and Lindsay lives in L.A. I can't be there watching her every move. That and so far as I know she didn't become an "addict" until she was of the age of 21 and I most certainly did not have anything to do with that move in her life. I attribute this entirely to evil influences in her life and the pressure of the media. More importantly the movie Georgia Rule was a flop because of that bitch Jane Fonda! I did tell the casting directors that but they wouldn't listen simply because I am a single woman. In my opinion all white-anglo-males are bastards and I am certain that they have conspired to keep me from the superstardom that I was born to attain! P.S. Don't I just totally remind you of Oprah? Only white! P.P.S. I'm single by the way, so if there are any Hollywood producers out there... I'm a looker and I still have all my own teeth! P.P.P.S. Don't you just feel so sorry for me about Lindsay?! How could the world conspire against me like that?!?! P.P.P.P.S. MEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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