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La Vida Lohan - in case you thought she was underexposed!!!

July 29th 2007 07:40
Lindsay Lohan
"I know who drugged me!"
This story isn't going to die soon! Lil' Linds will see to that. When your Mother is star desperado class 1A Dina Lohan, you know that every scandal has a silver lining. All press has so far been dished out with an eye-dropper by Lil' Linds and Mommie Dearest while Daddy Lohan and Linds' little sister Ali have been scrambling about in the meantime adding their own voices to the muddle of conflicting reports and the tit-bits that all just manage to make the whole thing look even more disreputable!

But then you have to hand it to the Lohan clan. It's working!
Every star and non-star in Hollywood has gone out of their way to get in with their ten cents worth. It's been an interesting line up.
Martin Sheen

Martin Sheen blamed it on Lindsay's entourage - good advice considering this includes druggo extraodinaire Callum Best and gal-pal/"have story will sell out" Samantha Ronson!
Alec Baldwin


Alec Baldwin - himself a Rehab alumni - blames fame. Apparantly in Hollywood the world is dangled in front of you on a string... so naturally you take cocaine!
Matt Damon

Matt Damon was kind. Well he's hot - it's good for his image isn't it?
Donald Trump

Our favourite so far has to be Donald Trump...
“Find what you love doing (other than drugs and alcohol), work hard, stay focused, get a new set of parents.”
It's brilliant advice!
The Witches of Eastwick
The Witches of Eastwick - Dina is on the right

Dina Lohan is clearly as skilled at parenting as a mother Barracuda. Now sales and marketing... different story! She's made a fortune out of Lindsay - as well as established with grit determination (and bribery) her own small cult of celebrity.
Michael Lohan
Yup. He screwed Dina. We're guessing she was drunk.

Michael (Daddy) Lohan is in a similar position. The former alcoholic turned preacher is always the first on the phone to the press whenever Lindsay goes astray - and no doubt those pay cheques have bought him no small amount of Jack Daniels...
Perhaps if these two alleged parents were not so busy trying to make themselves look good they might actually have some time for their daughter - who is clearly in a great deal of trouble!
Dina "Mommie Dearest" Lohan's most recent "clarifying statement" claimed that the cocaine found in Lindsay's pockets by the Police could not have belonged to her... because she was wearing someone else's pants!!!!!
Ummm, is that meant to make everyone feel better?!?!
Clearly the Lohan's have lost touch with reality if this is the best they can do! Certainly the last thing anyone expects out of this whole media circus is honesty. Indeed the boys who were in the car with Lindsay as she sped after, first, her assistant and, second, her mother, have given an ccount laced with "we totally didn't do it's" that does everything but give Lil' Lohan horns and a tail!
Lindsay, get your shit together, dump your friends, slap your parents into shape and get your life and your movie career back on track!
Her most recent US movie release, the inauspiciously titled I Know Who Killed Me, is already getting horrible reviews - bad movie, Lindsay is just in it!!!
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